Conscience
by Angel's babe
Summary: Josef realizes it's time to let Sarah go. Spoilers up to and including the episode: Sleeping Beauty. I consider this an add-on to the episode


* * *

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters associated with Moonlight, merely the plot

Summary: An added scene onto the end of Sleeping Beauty

Spoilers: Up to the end of Sleeping Beauty

Author's notes:

1. "" Dialogue, '' thoughts

2. **Bolded type** is used for a flashback

3. I know Moonlight is over (cry, cry) but this has been on my computer for a while, and after finishing it I thought I'd share.

4. Couples: Josef/ Sarah, Mick/Beth

Title: Conscience

He sat on the bed tenderly holding her hand gazing at her. And he remembered. He remembered the first time they met: a case of love at first sight. He recalled the party he was at: one her father was giving to celebrate the latest business deal. He was there at her father's express invitation. She was wearing this dress that covered her body, and yet left little to his imagination. She had this twinkle in her eye when she looked at him, and the prettiest laugh he ever heard. They danced together, and sparks flew; he marveled at how much they had in common- their love of music, the same sense of humour. And she would laugh- even when he said something that wasn't even remotely funny she would still laugh. She would laugh at him, and laugh with him. He remembered their first date, especially the one kiss at the end:

"Oh Charles, you're incorrigible." She remarked, chuckling at him. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead, and joined in her laughter- making her laugh quickly became among his favourite past times.

Until he'd met her, he had in his 400 years of existence never felt that deep tenderness towards anyone. He'd never felt the driving need to protect somebody or the temporary hatred of himself. The push-pull feeling was completely new for Josef Konstantin; on the one hand he wanted marriage and a life with her. On the other hand, he knew very well what he was; a vampire, and by nature a restless creature; never staying in one place for long. He could never subject her to that- she'd never understand. He wanted to protect her from that and from his world. It was her lack of exposure to his world that made her special. But in true push-pull fashion he never wanted to pretend what he was. When he had a relationship with someone, he wanted it to be honest it was what he was up front, and comfortable with himself. It was what led him to the decision to tell her the truth.

He dismissed the staff with a smile and extra money then made his way to the kitchen. He hummed along to the radio as he prepared dinner for her, taking great care to set the table and create a romantic setting. At six pm sharp heard the doorbell ring. He opened the door to her, and kissed her hand in a gentlemanly manner closing the door.

"**You look beautiful Sarah." He complimented her taking her coat. She was wearing the same dress as when they first met, and her hair was back off her face. He led her straight into the dining room pulling the ornate chair out from the table for her. She sat down, and he seated himself next to her, dramatically pulling the silver top from her plate. He watched her eating, occasionally sipping from his own goblet.**

"**You're not eating." She remarked.**

"**I've already eaten," he replied- it was essentially the truth, but he still inwardly cringed. He intently watched her, memorizing every curve of her body, her facial expressions as she ate aware that this may be the last time he sees her. She became aware of his gaze, putting her fork down beside her plate:**

"**What?" She smiled at him, and her beauty took him aback:**

"**You really are beautiful tonight." She turned looking at him, directly meeting the intensity of his gaze with one of her own.**

"**You're not so bad looking yourself" She seductively replied, backing it up with a laugh. She turned back to her food picking up her fork, leaving him to gaze at the side of her neck. **

**He blinked, he could hear her heartbeat; he wanted so much to give into temptation, to kiss her, to taste her sweetness, it took all his self-control to not leap upon her. He covered it with a swallow. He was startled as she threw her fork to the side of her plate with a clatter: She smiled:**

"**I can't eat with you staring at me like that. What's on your mind?"**

**He didn't know where to start, and came up speechless at her bluntness. Instead of speech, he responded by pulling out her chair, and helping her up. He led the way into his study- his comfort zone, and helped her to sit on the couch, while he sat down in a leather recliner. **

**They sat in silence. He wanted to love and protect her. It was amazing those two things came with two opposite actions for him: protecting her meant lying to her. It meant denying himself a lifestyle he was accustomed to. It meant denying her an honest relationship, a marriage, and he wanted both with her. Loving her meant being honest about what he was, it meant giving her the choice to leave running and screaming the other way. Or, and this is what he wanted, the choice to stay to love him as much as she had since they met, or more. In a way, it was a brave thing, this telling her the truth- it was putting his heart on the line. He wryly smiled, and changed quickly changed to seriousness, gazing at her intensely:**

"**I love you Sarah. I have since the moment I met you. Always remember that." **

"**I know. I love you too." She answered, and was quiet waiting for more. He was quiet, taking great care to choose his words, his own heart pounding, suddenly aware of all he had to lose.**

"**What do you know of vampires?" He started off. She fought laughter, and finally succeeded when she saw his serious expression:**

"**I've read books. Legends of people turned into creatures of the night, forced to give up everything they've known. Creatures forced to live off the blood of others and doomed to live forever. They can barely be killed, accept by fire, beheading or sunlight. I imagine it's a lonely way to live. But at the same time, to have all that power over humanity… it sounds as if it would be exhilarating." He moved to the couch and taking her hands in his, forcing her to look at him:**

"**It is." **

**She was silent, as a look of sudden comprehension dawned on her features. She didn't want to believe it, so she laughed: it began as a chuckle, then a full-bodied laugh of disbelief:**

"**They don't exist Patrick. They're creatures of somebody's imagination. Nobody lives forever Patrick, or drinks blood. It's… absurd." He shrugged off her last comment, and continued**

"**My real name is Josef Konstantin. I was brought across… or made in 1607. Before that, I was a merchant in Bavaria with a family. I was married, and we had two daughters. My family was killed, on the road between our home, that of my wife's family. It was presumed to be a robbery, and nobody was ever caught. He paused to make sure she took in what he was saying.**

" **I was angry. I blamed myself for their deaths; I wanted justice so badly that I nearly bankrupted myself in offering monetary rewards. For a while I was self-destructive: I no longer wanted to live. I had no purpose without them. What did it matter, I thought if I died?"**

"**Anyway, I was picked up one evening in the midst of my late-night wanderings by a mysterious woman. She said all the right things, lured me with promises of ever-lasting youth and unimaginable power. The rest as they say is history."**

**She looked at him dumbfounded. She knew there was something mysterious about him, a certain something that drew her in, and kept her interested. She never dreamed it was this. **

"**Prove it." He moved away from her, as she settled back into the cushions. He stood, and she watched as his face went paler than it was already, and his eyes went golden grey. He allowed his fangs to slightly extend from his mouth.**

"**I don't blame you if you want to leave." He remarked his voice huskier than normal. She instinctively sensed vulnerability about him and moved to stand with him. His look went back to normal. She favoured him with a reassuring smile:**

**I love you. And it will work between us, I believe that, and you should too." **

"**I can't promise anything." She reached up and stroked the side of his face:**

"**I'm not asking you to." She stood on tiptoe and gave him a passionate kiss. He responded by deepening it, sticking his tongue in her mouth. It was her turn, and she ran her tongue over his fangs eliciting a low-throated growl from him. He stopped, pulling back from her not yet ready to give in, afraid that if they went further he would be unable to stop himself.**

"**You have to understand, that if we continue beyond this moment, there is no going back. This means I can't give you children. I can't give you the life that you want. It means that being with me will mean spending a lot of time alone, isolated from your family. And I know how much you love your family. I know you couldn't bear that. I love you Sarah, but if you are hesitating now, leave and think about it for a few days." There was a hint of desperation in his voice.**

**She was silent, reading his face trying to find some sign that there was any humour in his words. All she found was wisdom something she instinctively knew was hard-won. She sighed realizing that he was the voice of reason:**

"**If it means that much to you, I'll think about it." He tenderly squeezed her shoulders, and led her back to the door where he helped her with her coat.**

"**I want you Sarah. But I want you to be certain that this what you want." He held the door open as she brushed past him, and watched as she got into a cab. **

**He considered the evening: She nodded, appearing to understand what he told her. She appeared to accept him, and in all likelihood did accept what he told her. But did she really pause to consider what it meant for them? Did she think of the long-term effects on her life, her hopes for a family? Did she consider at all her own mental state? You can only spend so much time alone. He suddenly felt desperate to find some way to make her understand, to make her see what he is, to really understand the consequences of what he was asking her.**

* * *

Josef glanced at the monitors, and saw with dismay very little change in their readings. He stood and stretched, walking the length of the room before re-taking his seat at her bedside and her hand.

"Still no change?" Mick asked his friend. Josef didn't take his gaze from her:

"No. How's Beth?"

"Gone back to L.A. I invited her out on the town tonight, but she decided to leave. She mumbled something about things with Josh, which I didn't believe. The truth is she's scared."

Josef instinctively knew where it was going, and cut his friend off looking directly at him:

"Seize the moment Mick, don't be afraid of it."

Mick withdrew to the doorwaysuddenly aware he was intruding on his friend's privacy, and aware of an acute sadness.

"Would you want to spend a night on the town tonight?" He asked.

"No, I'm fine here." Josef answered with a small smile.

"If you want to talk, I'll be around." Josef nodded his response, and Mick left.

Josef turned his focus back to Sarah, allowing the hypnotic rise and fall of her chest to carry him back into his memories.

* * *

**A week went by before he saw her again. She arrived unannounced entering through the kitchen door. He was sufficiently distracted; on a break from the poker game and feasting on his latest beauty- a woman that looked exactly like Sarah. He was lost in it and didn't even look up when his bedroom door opened and she stood there; defiant and angry- he could smell both on her. He withdrew his fangs from the woman standing in front of him, turning her to face him:**

**"You will remember nothing of this. Go." The woman left, straightening her dress, and hair. He moved to shut the door behind her, and sat on the bed. There was a long silence, as Josef made eye contact with Sarah and took his time to return to normal, his hunger still evident. He could still smell the anger coming off her in waves:**

**"I'm not apologizing for this. You needed to see what I am. You needed to see what you are dealing with."**

**She looked at him, his face now normal, and as suddenly as she was angry with him, she wasn't.**

**"When I left, I couldn't decide if you were crazy or not. I half-convinced myself that you were and almost called a mental hospital to have you admitted. Vampires are creatures of legend, out of somebody's imagination to scare people. It is still very challenging for me to believe that I've met and fallen in love with one. And you have without a doubt tonight proven that that's what you are. I can't change that nor do I want to. When I met you I fell for a charming, considerate, charismatic funny, intelligent guy, and that's what you are too besides this creature." She paused. He took a look at her, realizing she wanted to say more stayed silent:**

**"I don't know what the future holds for us, neither do you. What I do know is that my life is so much fuller now with you in it. There's more laughter in it, more love in it. I can't remember what life was like before you, and I don't want know what it will be like without you. I want this, you, me: us. I want it so badly Josef, and I'm not afraid of you. Love trumps fear."**

**He rose from his bed, making the first move. He brought her face up to his and passionately kissed her. She returned the kiss, moments later they broke for air:**

**"I won't hurt you Sarah." He earnestly told her. She nodded, smiling a radiant smile. He scooped her up carrying her to his bed. She began wriggling out of her dress, and he helped her kissing every piece of exposed skin, finishing up at her neck.**

**She let go an involuntary gasp as his fangs bit into her, and he growled in pleasure, as he tasted her. In tasting her blood he was able to see himself as she saw him, and able to feel the unconditional love she felt for him. She truly did not care what he was, and she truly wanted him. He felt more peace than he had in 400 years.**

**When he woke up, she was gone. He could still smell her scent on the pillow, and on the end table was a note. He picked it up and read it:**

**My father received news from the war department, and summoned me home. I don't know when I'll be able to return. Last night was among the happier nights of my life, and I'll treasure it. I'm looking forward to the day when I will be with you. Love trumps fear.**

**Your darling Sarah**

**He was unsurprised, one thing he knew about her was that she set very high value on family. She had an extremely close relationship with her father, and he was wary of getting in the way of that. He liked and respected the man as well; they were business partners. So he would back off his courting, and not pursue her; at least not yet.**

* * *

Josef was again stirred from his memories by loud voices:

"Mr. Fitzgerald is not to be disturbed."

"I know, I just. I need to know he's okay." A female voice replied. He moved quickly to the stairs:

"I know her Tina, let her come up." He called to the maid. The maid stood aside allowing Beth Turner to pass. Josef looked puzzlingly at her:

"Should you be somewhere over the Midwest by now?"

He watched her eyes grow sad:

"I was at the airport, and couldn't stop thinking about her or about you. I had to come back; I had to make sure you were okay." She answered. He easily read between the lines: She was afraid of ending up like Sarah.

"Mick's still around. I'll tell you what I told him: seize the day; don't be afraid. Just because Sarah ended up like this, doesn't mean you will. He loves you Beth, he may not say it yet but it's there. Treasure it."

"Would you want to go out, get your mind off things for a while?" She asked.

"No, I'm fine right here. I'll be okay." Josef quirked a smile: "Thank you for the offer though."

"I'll wait downstairs for Mick." She gave him a sympathetic smile. Josef nodded, and returned to the bedroom where Sarah lay. He checked the monitors a second time, no change. He sat down in the chair beside her bed, allowing himself to be returned to his memories.

* * *

**A month passed before he saw her again. It was late afternoon, and he was awakened by a persistent knock on the door. Tying his robe tightly over his pajamas he went to the door opening it with a hand shielding his eyes from the sun. She pushed by him into the house as he closed the door, and took a good look at her. Her eyes were red with tears, cheeks puffy; clearly upset about something. He waited, knowing an explanation was coming.**

**Her words came rapidly:**

**"He won't let us marry Josef. He won't let us be together. Since my brother died, he's become over-protective. He won't let me out of the house without accompaniment, and knowing where I'm going as well as who is going to be there. They don't know I'm gone yet- I bribed servants, and convinced my chaperone her time would be best spent elsewhere. I was doubtless followed anyway."**

**Josef moved to the window, and peeked through the heavy damask curtains and sure enough idling just down the block was a black car with tinted windows. He knew this could spell trouble for him. He knew how she treasured her freedom. He saw that her father's sudden over-protectiveness was grating on her nerves.**

**Her voice was low and intense:**

**"I can't go back Josef. I don't want to go back there. It's a prison, and now I'm going to be forced to lie to my father. He hates lying, turns his back on anyone who does it. I feel as if I have no home to return to."**

**Josef was deep in thought while she spoke. He knew what she wanted him to do- it was between the lines of what she said. He was reluctant to do it, he was certain she didn't fully realize what he was capable of, and what she was asking. She was too attached to her life and the people in it. He could never ask her to give that up, and she never would. Vampires had to be detached from the world and all that's in it. It made it easier to move on when they needed to. He could never doom her to a life like his; he wanted better than that. To out-live those you love and watch as generations of your family grow without you at times is unbearable.**

**"Josef." Her voice came pleading, drawing him out of his thoughts:**

**"You don't want this Sarah. You are only beginning to realize what I am, and my capabilities. I'm a predator Sarah. I have killed others in order to live and believe me you don't want that on your conscience. You outlive those you love and you can never get close to anyone. It is a solitary existence; you're a part of the world around you and at the same time you're not. And when you get to be my age; you live so many lies, you forget who you are."**

**Sarah struggled to keep her voice calm:**

**"I love you, I care about nothing else accept that. If loving you means living forever, if it means killing people, and living different lies, then so be it. I have nothing left Josef; don't you see? My father has become a possessive, obsessed man; the polar opposite to the man I grew up with. I don't want to go back there; I can't go back there."**

**"Do you know how a person is turned? They are drained by their sire nearly to the point of death, and then are forced to drink their sire's blood. Physically, the changes are painful; the turn has to adjust to new senses- all are far more powerful than before. You have the ability to hear a human heart beat from across a room, smell fear, defiance. Taste passion, and anger, love and hate. You are able to see your prey's memories so vividly it will be as if you're living them. The first time they hold a newborn baby, the last time they hold their lover as they die. And you suddenly know what you're taking away from them. The guilt you should feel, the pang of conscience you should feel is overridden by that overwhelming hunger; the need and drive to live." He paused watching her to see if there's any kind of response from her; there was none, but she was listening intently. He continued:**

**"It's not until after they turn they slowly begin realizing what they are, and what they've done. First comes the knowledge they'll never see another sunrise. At first you think: it's sunrise, it happens daily. And then you begin to forget what they look like: the steady orange light growing in the eastern sky, starting to touch the blue. You forget how the first rays feel as they warm you. Second comes the knowledge that you can't see your loved ones again; never hear your child's laughter never see friends and relatives marry, and never be able to comfort others as they die. Third, you see people around you grow older, while you remain the same. And that perhaps is the most damaging because they realize that you don't and that survival instinct again takes over forcing you to run. It can be at times a life of extreme isolation."**

**Sarah was silent, and thoughtful:**

**"Do you regret it?"**

**It was Josef' s turn to be thoughtful. Nobody had ever asked him that before, and he'd never truly thought about it. He was never one for regrets, and always understood that you lived by your actions.**

**"No. I am one of the rare people that have embraced what they are, and revels in it. Besides, if I hadn't become a vampire I wouldn't have been able to live long enough to meet you." He smiled at that last part.**

**He reached out and stroked her face:**

**"I love you, and want you with me. But I also want to make sure you know what you're asking me to do, and what you'll become."**

**Sarah gave a shaky smile, nodding with tears in her eyes. Josef read a hint of reluctance there:**

**"Take a day and think about it. Say good-bye to your loved ones and friends; gather your belongings. If this is what you truly want, return here tomorrow at sundown.**

**To his happiness, she did exactly that, returning with a case of her most prized possessions. He looked at her as he opened the door. She was the picture of beauty: defiant, and dignified. She was wearing a body hugging red dress, had her hair down, gently brushing her shoulders, her lips the colour of scarlet. She would make a stunning vampire; a true mate for him and he loved her more for it. Having dismissed the servants, he took her case upstairs to the bedroom prepared for her- she followed in silence; the only sound her dress swishing side to side. She sat down on the bed while he put her suitcase down beside the dresser and moved to sit beside her.**

**"Sarah.." He began, wanting to make sure she knew the consequences of this. She cut him off her voice resolute:**

**"No Josef. No more cajoling, no more making me understand what you are, and what I'm asking of you. I'm ready, and I want to be like you."**

**He realized there would be no changing her mind.**

**"Lay down. I'll try to make this as painless as possible." He sat there momentarily, taking in every detail of her before lying down himself. He motioned for her to shift her position facing away from him, and while never breaking eye contact he changed. It didn't faze her as she brushed her hair to one side and lay on her pillow. She involuntarily yelped as his fangs bit into her neck.**

**At first he heard her heartbeat going fast; he sensed her nervous excitement. Her blood was sweet, and tasted of so many memories of her father when she was young, of playing with her brother and seeing him proudly march off to war. He finally understood how deeply she loved him; it shocked him nearly giving him pause to consider if he was doing the right thing. He knew he was; it was what she wanted- the only way they could be together.**

**Sarah's breathing slowed with her heartbeat. It was nearly time for the final stage of the change and after a last sip he withdrew his fangs, reaching for a dagger he had placed on the bedside table cut his wrist:**

**"Sarah, you need to drink. He put his wrist up to her lips and waited for her to open her mouth. There was no response. He didn't see the hair trail down her back as she sat up hungrily drinking from him; didn't feel the newborn fangs on his wrist. He raised his arm placing it directly against her lips. At last a response, the muscles in her throat tensing as she swallowed. He sighed in relief, holding his wrist there a moment longer then pulling it away.**

**Sensing daybreak was near he prepared the room for the day, tenderly covering her up with a blanket, and kissing her on the forehead. Her face already lost its earthy glow in favour of an angelically pale complexion, making her features more beautiful. He marveled at that beauty once more before leaving- that night he would begin a new life with her. He withdrew for his day's rest, his last thoughts being of the new life awaiting them both.**

* * *

"The old man is dying, he deserves to know what happened to his daughter."

"Even if it means revealing himself for what he is, what his daughter wanted to become. We can't let our secret be too widely known."

"It's a little late for that now Mick, the man did send people to kill him."

Josef roused himself again following the annoyingly loud voices downstairs to his kitchen. He smiled grimly to himself as he realized the truth of the last sentiments and the irony that Beth said them, instead of Mick. Mick always was a touch too idealistic for his tastes; a trait which he normally found refreshing, but tonight it was just irritating.

"What are you two still doing around, I thought you were off for a night in New York before returning to L.A?"

"We decided to stick around in case you wanted company." Beth explained, her voice gentle. He quirked a smile at the sentiment: it was so like Blondie.

"I'm fine. How's the old man?" He responded.

"Near death. His doctors say he may not last the week; he's in his early nineties and has heart failure." Mick provided the information.

"He wants to know what happened to his daughter. I think you owe him an explanation; it would give him some peace." Beth added.

"How do I explain what happened to his daughter without revealing what I am?" Josef asked the reasonable question.

"He already knows. He gave us this." Beth took the diary out of her bag, and placed it on the table. He picked it up, touching it with reverence and noticing a marked page. He opened it:

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I leave this miserable place and go to a new life with my love. He is a vampire: Josef, or Patrick as he insists on being called. And yes, I realize how silly that is- a vampire of all things; a creature of myth meant to scare us in the night. But hard as I still find it to believe: they're real! And I love him!_

_He is a wonderful man: kind, intelligent, and gentle. He loves me as much as I love him, and I feel more safe and secure with him than I ever thought possible with a man. I go to him, to become a permanent part of his life and all that entails. I do not feel sad about leaving this life behind; my father is not the same man since Freddie died. He's crueler, more bitter and angry than ever. I feel I cannot live with him any longer, and so I go without a heavy heart. I look forward to my life with Josef; he'll take me to see the world, teach me to love and revel in a new freedom, which, being like him will give me._

_I make this my last entry, as I do not wish to take a reminder of my old life with me. You have long been my faithful friend diary,_

_Love Sarah._

Josef closed the book holding it in front of him looking at it in wonder. After a moment he looked up at the pair of expectant faces:

"When you're ready to leave, take my jet. There's supplies in it enough to last the trip." Josef turned on his heel and made his way upstairs.

"You owe it to him Josef." Beth repeated. Mick placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her from going after him.

As he re-took his seat next to the bed, a pang of conscience took him:

Did he owe it to the old man? He was dying after all didn't he deserve to know his daughter's fate? That she was well cared for, and still very much beloved? He set those troubling questions aside and journeyed back into his memories.

* * *

**The next night, Josef awoke with a new energy. He dressed quickly, figuring on her awaiting him, humming as he made his way down the hall to her bedroom, his cheerfulness evident. He opened the door and quickly went over to her bed picking up her hand willing her to wake up.**

**"Wake up Sarah." He let a few more moments to slip by. He gently shook her shoulder and his voice grew more urgent:**

**"Sarah you need to wake up now. Come on, open your lovely eyes." He took the dagger from where it lay and again sliced his wrist open. He placed his wrist against her lips:**

**"It'll be alright Sarah. I'm here, where I'll always be. You just need to swallow." Her lips were red from his blood. A few seconds went by and still she didn't swallow. The wound quickly healed. And still he sat transfixed by her.**

**Even when the nighttime maid entered the room to give a report before going home he still sat there, mutely nodding when they were finished. He could smell the concern on her, and didn't trust his voice to say anything. He just went back to staring at Sarah and willing her to wake up.**

**It wasn't until Josef saw the sunlight turning the eastern sky orange that he moved to pull the curtains. He gently climbed on the bed beside her and put his arms around her dozing off for a few hours.**

**Josef remembered the same routine for the next few nights. He'd rise from his sleep, pull the curtains and settle into his chair holding her hand. He didn't feed, or attend to any personal hygiene. Sarah was his only reason for existence.**

* * *

"Still no change?" A voice from the doorway asked. Josef looked up, wondering why he hadn't registered the other vampire's presence.

"Didn't I just send you and Blondie off to the airport not 10 minutes ago?"

Mick smiled: "Heavy fog is rolling in. They won't let non-commercial jets leave. You're stuck with us."

"Mr. Konstantin?" A female nurse appeared at the door with a bag of blood. Josef cleared his throat:

"Come on in Jean." He beckoned the woman in. She bustled around hanging the new bag and discarding the old one. She picked up the binder sitting on the desk and made notes in it, glancing at the monitors.

"Her vitals are a little stronger today." Jean smiled encouragingly at Josef. When he didn't respond she cast a quick glance at Mick, and left.

"In most cases that means patients are close to death." Josef wryly commented.

"Not necessarily." Mick answered, wanting his friend to think positively.

"I'm going for a walk." Josef announced and left the room. Mick nodded and followed him out of the room. They stopped at the door.

"Alone. I shouldn't have to say that should I?" He asked rhetorically as he shrugged into a jacket and exited into the foggy night air. Mick backtracked to where he left Beth sitting in the living room.

"How's Josef?"

"He just wants to be alone, so he left. On the positive side Sarah's vital signs are strengthening." Mick answered

"Oh. That's good then." Beth smiled. Mick sat down on the sofa next to her and took her hand:

"New York is at our feet. What would you like to do first?" Stroll through central park, or see Macy's?" Her face lit up at the mention of Macy's and she chuckled:

"Window shopping only. Then a walk through Central Park."

Mick rose from the sofa and helped Beth to rise. They made their way into the front hall for coats, and left.

He looked up at the familiar home and wondered how he came to be standing outside it. He left his house with the idea of getting away from Mick, Beth and their constant opinions. He grudgingly admitted to himself that they had a point. The old man deserved peace and to know what happened to his daughter. But he would know tell Mick that.

He looked up at the window, now in darkness and could hear the hum of the machines and the unsteady heartbeat of the man within. Finally hearing only one other sleeping heartbeat- assumed to be the nurse he made his way around through the patio doors, and upstairs.

Josef cracked open the door to the master bedroom and entered. He stood near the doorway listening to the laboured breathing amazed at how frail the old man was.

"Come closer." John Whitley's voice was raspy, but strong.

Josef did as he was bade and approached the bedside:

"Hello John." Josef switched an end table lamp on. He moved opposite the bed. Whitley cackled:

"You haven't changed a bit."

Josef chuckled at the morbid joke.

"Come to gloat vampire?" He asked, his voice strengthening.

"No." It was the last thing Josef intended to do. He was silent.

"Sarah?" the old man croaked her name, and Josef's mind went to the woman laying comatose at his townhouse. He took a deep breath: the time had come:

"She's safe. And well cared for. I love her John."

"You tried to make her like you. You tried to turn her into a monster. You should have let her go." Whitley was bitter.

He shouldn't have been so surprised the old man knew more than he let on- that was common for Whitley. Josef had lost count the amount of times he had told himself that very same thing: He should just Sarah die. Or the amount of times he came so close to pulling the plug. But in the end he just couldn't do it. What if he did, and then found a way to cure her? What if he ended up burying her alive? He wouldn't forgive himself for either.

The weakness in Josef's voice surprised him:

"I've given her every luxury she'd ever want."

"You've condemned her to a life in darkness. She could have had a family. She could've had sunshine." Whitley accused.

Josef was defensive:

"She loved me. I gave her the choice. I told her what her life would be like. And she chose it. That should tell you something old man. You made her miserable enough to prefer a life in darkness.

Whitley looked as if he'd been physically struck. He was defeated. He rasped a deep breath:

"Let her go."

Josef found himself mutely nodding. To pay a dying man's last request lip service was a small price to pay. He shifted the subject back to one that would make Whitley's last moments more comfortable. He faked a smile.

"Remember the old days? All the parties we went to, the deals we made? The dancing girls?"

Whitley gasped a deep breath:

"We were kings of New York then. Nobody could beat us. Women fawned over us. It was glorious." Josef smiled at the sentiment. Sensing Whitley was growing weaker he allowed the conversation to fade out. For the rest of the night Josef stood by while his friend's breathing grew increasingly weaker until near morning when John Whitley's chest rattled with his final breath.

"Rest in Peace old friend." Josef climbed out the man's window and left.

He made his way back to his townhouse entering through the back door and wearily climbing the stairs. He entered Sarah's room too involved in his own thoughts to notice Mick and Beth standing beside the bed. Both had annoyingly concerned looks on their faces. Mick came forward first:

"We tried to reach you buddy."

Josef took in the rest of the scene in a glance and knew what had happened. The day nurse was switching off the heart monitor and pump. His Sarah lay on the bed looking as beautiful as the day he met her.

"I 'd like you to leave." He told the others in the room. He was silent as the room emptied out. Beth was the last to leave giving him one last sympathetic look. She shut the door and he turned to the bed sitting down on the bed.

"I don't know how to say good-bye to you kid. I still wonder if I should compel the medical types to bring their stuff back. But it's obvious you chose to leave and I respect you for that. And I can't blame you. I want you to know that I'm sorry I didn't find a cure for you babe. I'm sorry I kept you trapped in this bed, in this house. I kept hoping you would wake up. I kept hoping it would all be okay- that I'd have my Sarah with me for eternity. I know now that it was wrong of me to hold you for so long. I love you Sarah. I always will." Josef leaned over her and tenderly kissed her forehead and left the room.

Before he could make it to his freezer he encountered Mick and Beth hovering in the hallway. Beth opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Josef:

"I'm fine Blondie. Or at least I will be if you two stop hovering." He moved past them to his room leaving them exchanging glances.

Josef gave an unneeded sigh as he readied himself for bed. He felt oddly lighter. Like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He admitted to himself he wanted her. At one time it was all he wanted. She was his tie to the past, when times were happier. Letting it go was bittersweet. He knew she was happy wherever she was and wanted him to be happy too. But he loved her as if she was his other half and he wondered if he'd ever find that again.

He knew even that didn't matter very much. He had friends like Mick and Blondie (Beth, he mentally corrected himself) and he was grateful for that.

* * *

_Here it ends…_

_Thanks for reading…_

-AB


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